I realise that this isn't the typical, ultra positive, sometimes humourous cancer blog that I see from others but I do have an important message that can sometimes get lost:
NEVER BE SCARED TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE SCARED.
This doesn't mean looking for sympathy but to me it means showing all sides of cancer so that people can show empathy through greater understanding of how you feel day to day. This is challenging because obviously you would want to be seen as you and not a disease which is completely understandable and the right attitude to have!
To me it's about balance, I post positive and negative. At the moment it's negative which probably isn't great to read but when my symptoms are under control I do some really fun, positive stuff! Willow Foundation sent me to the Arsenal training ground not long before my bday for example and it was an incredible experience! I have had a lot of great experiences and I'm very thankful. At the moment my headaches and fatigue is so bad that I can't get out of bed so I'm reflecting on the good days from this year.
With Alexis Sanchez. Watching him train was brilliant
Meeting Kieron Gibbs, one of my favourite Arsenal players
Ellen Macarthur sailing trip
Bournemouth with Youth Cancer Trust
In Liverpool for a conference on ketogenic therapies for neurological disorders.
Cooking with Youth Cancer Trust in Bournemouth. Age range is up to 30 which is unusual but fantastic.
With David Seaman at The Big Match
With my nephew.
With my neice, cancer makes you think about kids and relationships a lot if you're young and single like me- in good ways and also very sad ways.
It is very important to let go of negatives but here is another important message to end on a positive. I wrote this down on my trip to Bath in the hotel room after a partial seizure that was making me fearful of leaving the hotel room. I had a rest and explored Bath a bit more, it was memorable. :-)