Sunday, 30 November 2014
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
Sunday, 23 November 2014
Thursday, 20 November 2014
I had a seizure at about 3am in my sleep. It woke me up and I was conscious with no control this time, strange. I made a lot of yelping noises that woke my mum up and my right side was going a bit mental having a party on it's own. I felt very dizzy and still do a bit and the let side of my head feels very hot. I think maybe it was my own fault as I've been staying up later.
I'm glad I know it not the tumour because I would be panicking now otherwise. I was snappy and verbally aggressive to my mum which I apologised profusely for not long after. I get like that often after seizures and it's horrible because that's the complete opposite of who I am. I get a lot of strong mood swings where I can get very snappy and agitated and want to be left alone. I know I just need to recover and get on with it and that's what I plan on doing. This is my reality now, at least it's happening at home more than it does in public. I have only had small seizures in public and people usually just think I'm drunk, rude, or a bit weird as my words get slurred, I become slow with everything I do, and I get strange sensations which are difficult to explain. Sometimes I feel as though I'm floating when out so I sit down and I get strange feelings in my face and parts of my body.
I'm not going to whinge about it now though, it's part of my normal life and although after seizures I have a strong feeling of fragility and low self esteem, once I recover I become stronger mentally every time. The confidence usually take a while to get back but it does come back. This is where it would be very difficult if I was in a relationship. I've been single since just after diagnosis and although at times that was something I thought about a lot, in some ways it's a relief because it's a lot easier to hide this side of me to most people who don't see me often. I can't hide the symptoms that affect me every day but I can hide the big things and the bad days where I'm in bed all day with fatigue and migraines.
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Thursday, 13 November 2014
Saturday, 8 November 2014
I'm wondering if you can really tell much from CT scan results. I've lost count of how many pills I've taken today to cope and I'm feeling really unwell.
I'm not sure I can wait until Wednesday for my MRI scan because I'm feeling so light headed and I've got a funny taste in my mouth. I've been sleeping a lot today and I'm going to try and sleep again now to cope. I really don't know what to do.
Friday, 7 November 2014
Tuesday, 4 November 2014
Monday, 3 November 2014
I tried to go outside and now I'm in bed exhausted in a lot of discomfort. I couldn't even walk in a straight line and felt as though I was going to feint. Now I'm sat in bed and I feel as though I'm on a boat, something isn't right here. I have a scan for next week but I'm trying to get it done sooner.
I didn't look too confident on my way out. :-(
Saturday, 1 November 2014
I'm collecting too many of these! Just came back from hospital, feeling very groggy with a splitting headache after an unusual seizure but the CT scan results showed no bleeding. I had a feeling this might happen after nearly having a seizure in public a couple of days ago, stumbling around confused. I hope to get my MRI scan over and done with soon because I still have worries and concerns.